Well, okay, so I know I've been gone...and I know I have done that before. I have had alot of things going on. I blogged awhile back about feeling overwhelmed in my life. I honestly have felt for the last year or so like I was a hamster on a wheel. I kept turning and turning and everyone kept demanding and I just could not keep up. This year has been absolutly crazy. I have ran until I could run no more. I love my life, my job, my family, my friends, and my activities. But honestly I didn't love myself. I have made many changes over the last 8 months and I believe for the better. For example, in January I made a lifestyle change to work out, to eat better and get healthy. I have lost 30 pounds and I feel so much better. I still have about 25 pounds left to go and I have gotten lazy so I am in the process of getting back involved. It was one of many small changes that I am trying to make to love myself like I should. I am still not quite there.
Softball season ended about a two months ago and since it did I have pretty much become a recluse. I don't talk to anybody if I don't have to and I stay home as often as possible. I prefer to be with just my husband and kids and to be honest I realized that from January to June it was work, basketball and ballpark. I saw little to none of my kids and husband unless they were with me doing my "extracurricular activities" I volunteered for or I was at work. I realized that I was constantly taking care of everybody else and I wasn't doing a single thing for me. Don't get me wrong, I love everything I am a part of. The people are great and it makes me happy. But a big part of me felt like I was abandoning my children when I should be treasuring them. I realized it was time to change. As much as I loved everything in my life, I wasn't all that truly happy.
I decided to focus more on my husband and my kids. They should be my first priority and from now on, I am going to try to make them more of just that. The first thing I did was decide to do something I have always wanted to do but never had the courage or ability to do it. I have decided to go to cosmetology school. I decided about 4 weeks ago and I turned my application in just before the deadline. I found out two weeks later that I got in. It has devestated me to leave my job and my boss, but I know in the long run this will allow me to focus more on my kids and hopefully give me the ability to do more for my kids than I can now.
So, after this week, I will be unemployed for the first time ever and I have about 3 weeks with no plans. So I am going to focus those three weeks on getting organized at home and hopefully in my life. I plan to blog daily to hold myself accountable. Hopefully. My plan is to do this for myself and hopefully have it positively affect my family. Keep your fingers crossed because honestly, I have never been more scared in my life.
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